Thursday, September 27, 2007


Squeezing can be such a wonderful thing. It can be a nice big bear hug from your honey. It can be a reassuring hand squeeze from a concerned friend. It can be fresh orange juice. It can be just the right amount of ketchup on your burger. It can be a sexy caress from your partner.

But when it comes to certain female body parts....once a year, squeezing can be a cruel, painful experience. I know it's important. I know it has to be done. I know it's what is best. I get it. I still don't like it! LOL

The yearly mammogram. How I dread it. What kind of person came up with this medieval torture device? Things that normally look like this ( O ) ( O ) should never, ever have to look like this |o| |o|....ever! I know it's only for a few minutes....the longest minutes of your life, but OMG!!! It's a wonder that they bounce back! (no pun intended there) Kinda like those cartoons we watched as kids where the character would go through a clothes wringer and be completely flattened until his side kick came and shook him out...POP! Really, they are quite amazing...from melons to pancakes and back again all within a few minutes.

And God forbid you flinch or breathe......then you have to do it again!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

The best part is when the technician says you'll feel some pressure or a little discomfort. No, ma'am. Pressure is when you shake up a can of soda or have heartburn. Discomfort is when you stub your toe or run into the coffee table with your shin. None of those will make your eyeballs pop out of your head and go rolling across the lab floor. Maybe that's a defense mechanism so you don't actually have to LOOK at the melon to pancake transformation. Then once you're done and the melons have returned you can gather up your eyeballs and go get dressed. Yeah, that must be it.

See ya next time! :o)


Anonymous said...


Chaffy said...

Oh come on! This one wasn't bad! LOL