Thursday, September 6, 2007

Go away and DON'T COME BACK!

No, not you. :) I like when you come back.

I'm talking to Aunt Flo. I hate her. I hate what she brings with her. The crankiness, the crying for no reason, the cramps, the migraines, the soreness, the fatigue. HATE IT ALL! I hate that it all starts the week before and goes on the week of and the migraines go on for the week after. (Did I mention I hate it??)

But what I hate MOST of all is that I don't NEED her anymore. I have my three children...Eeeny, Meeny, Miney, and there ain't no Mo. Had the tubal after baby number three and that's final. So she has absolutely no purpose but to make my life miserable once a month. And yet she shows up, no invitation, no welcome mat, no coffee and cake, she just shows up!

I think every woman should have been equipped with an ON/OFF switch. Once you no longer need her, just a big CLICK and she's gone....FOREVER!

But, alas, we have no such switch. Instead, we have to keep buying stuff to combat her. Supplies, medicines, CHOCOLATE! Recently, a few ladies and I had an online conversation about a certain brand who had the nerve to put on their product: Have a happy period. EXCUUUUSEE ME????? Happy???? Are you freakin' kidding me? The same brand also put a wet wipe on the outside of each of their individually wrapped products (for just a little extra money, of course) If they REALLY want me to have a HAPPY period, they should put one of those miniature chocolate bars on each of those individually wrapped products. At least we'd all have something to look forward to each of the thousands of times we have to head to the lady's room during that week.

Okay, enough ranting, now for a related story.

A long time ago, I sent my hubby out for tampons. He was gone for a long time. Finally, he calls me on his cell sounding somewhat panicky and says:

"I've been standing in the feminine aisle for 20 minutes now...they've got teen, super, cardboard, plastic, slim....."

(by now I'm giggling)

"I'm serious....people are starting to look at me weird because I've been in here so long....stop laughing....really...stop."

(stifling the giggle well now)

THEN he says, "So seriously, there are so many different kinds. What CALIBER do you want?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! There was no holding back after that! I was dying!!!! CALIBER???? What a guy thing to say!!!! I had tears rolling down my cheeks!!!

I still laugh every time I think of it..What caliber...OMGosh!!

Hope ya got a giggle!

See ya next time! :o)


sobojoe said...

Aunt Flo????I dont remember an Aunt Flo.Be honest with me sis was I ADOPTED????? BAWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.I dont believe I shouldve read THAT particular blog.OH MY EYESSSSSSSS ROFL.. Your bro Joe

Anonymous said...

Funny how brothers, no matter how old or how married or whatever, never, EVER want to hear their sisters admit to the more, uh, interesting parts of womanhood. I have two just like ya, Joe. ;)


Anonymous said...

all I got to say YEAAAAA you go bros of Bridget LOL.IM with ya on that one. Chaffys Bro

Psymon Bee said...

ROFL I love that tampon story :)

Cristy (aka Mrsklink)