My brother Joe often calls me from Wal*Mart because he knows I know the store like the back of my hand and can usually tell him where to find things he is looking for. The conversation is very formal and goes something like this:
Me: *picking up the phone* Hello?
Joe: Yes, hello. Is this the Wal*Mart hotline?
Me: Yes, sir. How can I help you today?
Joe: Well, I'm in Wal*Mart and I can't find the cream of mushroom soup. Can you help me?
Me: Yes, sir. I'd be happy to help.
Joe: Now do you need to know what store I'm in? Or are all Wal*Mart stores the same?
Me: Well, no sir, all Wal*Mart stores are not exactly the same but I can tell by the number you are calling me from and the area code on your cell phone that you must be calling from the South Boston store. Is that correct?
Joe: Wow, you can tell what store I'm in just from my cell number? That's great! Yes I am in the South Boston store.
Me: Alright, sir. Cream of mushroom soup will be in the soup aisle. I believe that is aisle number 10. Can you locate aisle number 10, sir?
Joe: Okay, aisle 10...yes here it is and yes this is the soup aisle.
Me: Alright, sir. If you go to the end of the aisle towards the back of the store, on the left, about 3 or 4 shelves down, you should find cream of mushroom soup in several sizes. Can you see the cream of mushroom soup, sir?
Joe: Oh my gosh!! Yes, that's right! Here it is!! On the fourth shelf down on the left. Thank you very much!!!
Me: You're very welcome, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Joe: No, that will do it. Thank you!
We hang up.
Now here's the funny part. A few minutes later Joe calls me back and he is laughing his ass off. He can barely talk because he's laughing so hard. He tells me that apparently a lady was listening to his end of the conversation and after he hung up, she said to him, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but over hear...Wal*Mart has a hotline???? Can I get that number from you???"
Bwahahahahahaa!!! Joe had to stand there and tell her that he had called his sister and there was no Wal*Mart hotline. She was so disappointed. LOL She wanted that number bad! LOL
Hmmm, maybe I could make money at this. What do those 900 numbers charge? $4.95 an hour? That could come in handy. ;)
See ya next time! :o)