Really?? REALLY??

My mom wanted a Salad Shooter. We ordered one from Walmart.com and had it delivered to our local store because they didn't have them in the store. They email and text you when your item has been delivered and is ready for pick up. You show them a print out of the email or the text on your phone to pick up your order. Very convenient.

THAT'S where the convenience ended. I went to go pick it up this evening after church. It's all the way in the back of the store. I walk all the way back there and press the button for help and wait. The associate comes and this is the conversation:

Her: Your name?

Me: Donna Chafatelli, do you need to see my text?

Her: No, I need to see your ID.

Me: Oh, I've left my purse in the car. Is it really necessary? I mean how would I know to come and pick up a site to store Salad Shooter order if I didn't order it?

Her: I'm sorry, it's just policy. I HAVE to see ID.

Me: I understand policy but it's all the way out at the far end of the parking lot. Is there something else I can show you? My bank card with my name on it?

Her: No, it has to be a picture ID.

So I go all the way back out to the car, grab my purse, come all the way back through the store to the back to show her my ID....because God forbid I might be a scam artist who goes around picking up other people's Salad Shooter orders in some kind of conspiracy of ill-gotten gains. I show her my ID and she looks at it like she's an investigator searching for minuscule particles of evidence for a crime lab and looks at me and says:

Well, you've gotten your exercise for the day.

At this point I refrain from saying the first thought that pops into my head, which is: Right now, lady, I could get even MORE exercise when I reach over this counter and slap you in the head!!

Instead I just give her a look of disdain and agree.

Me: Can you please do me a favor and page my son? I sent him to get my prescription when I didn't realize I'd need to be back and forth like this and it would take so long.

Her: How old is your son?

Me: 16

Her: Oh we don't page unless it's an emergency or a child under 8. It's just policy.

(Side note here: Why would a child under 8 need to be paged? A child under 8 would be with his mother and even IF a child under 8 was lost in the store, he wouldn't know the layout of the store to be able to find where ever they would page him to...am I right???? I mean really, WTF????)

Me: Wow....such a simple request. Really???? You've been OH SO VERY helpful.

This was in lieu of what I REALLY wanted to say which was: Gee, I'm so sorry I had to slap you silly...it's just when people are being uncooperative for no good reason, I have to smack the living sh*t out of them.....it's just policy.

See ya next time! :)